'Love Sick' by Yukiba

My Thai mother came over. Her husband, who is a retired doctor and speaks English, told her I have been under the weather. She speaks no English. She came over to check on me and brought me over some soup and bread to eat. Despite a magnificent language barrier, I somehow understood when she offered to drive me to the hospital, if I felt the need to go again. Her smile is one of the first things that made me smile all day. Her laugh is so pure. Her motherly instinct is infectious.

As soon as she left, I started crying hysterical...out of nowhere. No PMS to be found (which could be a semi-logical reason for the outburst). I couldn't hold it back. I checked the time and realized that my real Mom would be up driving to work. Can we say, Skype?

Sometimes it's just good to hear her voice. The voice of the woman who birthed you, and knows what's wrong most times before you address it yourself.

"Evita? How are you?"

Waterworks...like the scene out of a chick flick. "I don't know why I can't stop crying."

As per usual, she hit it on the head.

"You're homesick. You're sick, but you're homesick. You miss your honey."

She's right. On top of feeling the stomach sick, I've been feeling the draw of home more and more as the days go by. It happens to many of us, even the more seasoned of travelers. Don't be fooled. We all just have different triggers.

Boy, did I cry. She let me let it out. I haven't felt this homesick in awhile, and definitely not since being on this particular trip. I'm homesick and lovesick. New York, family, and Nelson feel like the recipe part of me wished my doctor ordered.

I also wonder if, with the trip to Cambodia being such a high point (and personal goal) of mine, if in a way coming back to Chiang Mai depressed me a bit. I actually venture to say, I know it did. Back to the sameness of the house, small city, personality agreements and conflicts. I came back mentally rejuvenated, and frankly, happy. I feel as though I'm slowly descending the high and it fucking sucks. I've become bored in Chiang Mai and it's making the idea of two more months in this scenario seem daunting, not to mention unneccesary.

The physical symptoms are slowly subsiding...but I have to figure out a specific course of action to deal with the emotional bit. Soup and Vitamin C don't cure mediocrity.