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love

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an angel's work is never done...Rudi, 2 years later

 

Everytime I hear this song, I just smile and say "Hi, Rudi." I firmly believe that this song is one of the many ways he makes sure I don't forget about him...which could never happen.

2 years have flown. 2 years ago I had one of the worst days of my life, hearing about Rudi's death. To have a friend, ex, college companion, and road dog taken from you like that is still unremarkable. I've since, seen ages he'll never have the opportunity to. I gaze around my apartment. What people don't know is that any of the artwork that I have in this place, was given to me by him. Reminders everywhere of what he'd do for me, and what he did do.

And his work has gotten greater, since his transformation. I KNOW, with certainty that his hands and heart have been a part of what I've been able to create. He would bet everything on me. This is the same man that handed me blank checks at my lowest low and told me to just hit him before I cashed anything, but to be generous. They went unused and stay as a memorial in my journals. This man and all he gave. The person who said he'd stay at home and take care of kids while I traveled the world, at 22 years of age. He saw the vision sometimes before I did. The business and number cruncher behind my creative vision. There is a great irony that just now strikes me. If Evita ever had a #1 fan, it was Rudi. So I know that while I'm working in the physical world, he's pulling some major strings in the world beyond us. This angel's work is never done. And as per usual, I know he's making sure his ViVi succeeds.

I will not disappoint. See I don't just have promises to keep in this life, but I got people checking in on the other side too. Love and miss you Rudi.

Spin in Peace DJ Genius.

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where are they?

 

I love this photo... really, words can't express the natural love and beauty I see in it. Of them. Of relaxation. Of their bond as sisters. I dig it.

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Alcoholic Vervet Monkeys... Video Hilariousness...

just push play...

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from 'jane'...

Some of you have found this photo for purchase in the 'photos.' tab, but I wanted to give it some back story. 

I took this shot, on my last day in Panama, while sitting next to someone I'm headed to spend some time with this weekend.

Someone, who took my trip from a point of observation, to a point of personal interaction. Someone who swooped into my life from off his vine, enveloped my mind, and rearranged my heart.

When I told him I was too busy to be exclusive, he questioned it. When I said I was merely in Panama to watch everyone else have a good time, he made sure I allowed myself to as well.

Every night, when we talk, he slightly opens another part of me that was once hiding behind the work, the passion, and the myth of 'me'.

Every night...whether he knows it or not, I thank him for it.

'jane.'

 

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Tribe Hangover Takeover and Panama Awards...

Tonight was just all types of epic! Shouts to Tribe members Shaila and Dean MF for joining me on Gypsy's show, The Hangover Takeover.

It was a really really dope time in the studio. It's always love and thank you thank you Gypsy for embracing the Tribe as much as you do. It is noted and appreciated.

Check the video above to see the shenanigans.

and drumroll.....Panama Awards for those who missed them on the show:

Andrew: Young Grasshopper Award

Gyasi: The Storyteller Award

Gypsie: Shocker Award

Rasheed: Hide Behind the Hookah Award

Bayyina: Focused ADD Award

Tomika: Mogual Award

Claire: Vitamin C Award

Dean: The Body Award

Damon: Youth Award

Shaila: Cheetah Award

Tangee: Mom Award

Sheila: All Eyes On Me Award

Blue: Abuelo's Grandson Award

Tarmac Jerry: Tarzan Award

Alex: 'I'm not that guy' Award

Melanie: Bravery Award

Majida: Serenity (until Alex is drunk) Award

Love you all and thank you for making Panama what it was... stay tuned on Friday at 1pm for the State of The Tribe Address for the next trip!


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off the grid...

 

Bluff Resort in Bocas Del Toro, Panama:: Tribe Headquarters

I titled this photo, 'Good Morning' because it is what the Tribe woke up to, everyday, while we stayed in Panama this past week. Our own oasis, private beach, and dirt road with no name.

We were completely off the grid.

Solar powered everything, rain water recycled showers, and no internet access after the first rain drop fell. It was perfect. No talk of tv, cell phones, and the lack of internet (knowingly) because in the end we knew it was about us. The quote that kept floating around the week was 'everyone who was supposed to be here, is here.' I believe in my gut that this is true.

To wake up everyday to the sound of the ocean waves crashing against the shore, watching a native crack open a coconut with the blade of their machete for your breakfast, and breathing in the wealth of air was one thing. But, for me, as the 'creator' of this Tribe, it was a daily reminder of the truth that comes with the belief of manifest destiny. It wasn't the place for me, it was the people.

This was the first ever Tribe group trip. The Genesis of it all. This, in hindsight, is where if everything is going to fall apart, it should have. 18 strangers (for the most part), living under one roof, in a foreign country, only knowing each other through online, no readily available transportation, no television or phones for distractions, just us...and it was absolutely amazing. Words have scattered their way around my brain, but it's still a struggle to put it all together to emphasize exactly what I feel.

Pride. Will. Faith. Family. Knowing. Trust. Love. Love. Love...

love. In many, various forms, I feel we all found that. I know I did to varying degrees.

For me, this trip showed me first hand that no matter how outlandish people think my dreams are, they are mine for a reason, and they will all come true, as I intend. This trip showed me that no matter what people's opinion of who I am, what I do, and how I do it are...it's my visionary journey and in that, and the Universe, I will trust wholeheartedly. Whether I have known you for decades or days, you will see how I create. I will make you a believer.

Ultimately, what I took from this trip were two ideas that transcend 'I' in any form: the essence of family and team. This is a family. There is a bond that the people have on this trip that will never be duplicated. We were the pioneers. We cooked dinner together every night, and woke up to eat breakfast together every morning. In reality, I can't tell you the last time I've even done that with my own biological family. Real talk.

Team work makes the dream work.

As I think back, look through photos, and video footage, it's all about team. Again, I surrender to the fact that in the threads, in the Tribe, we speak openly about prefering to travel alone, yet the speed with which 18 of us packed up to move in together or a week, was brain numbing. From people helping me with shooting this week, to people cooking dinner, to cleaning, it was all team.

The Jungle Brothers gave the Tenders a sense of protection. The Tenders gave the Jungle Brothers a sense of being nurtured. We support one another as a unit.

I don't even know how many of us can say that about our own families, yet we have one another. It's also the reason why I have always known that this journey was bigger than just me. It's why the Tribe now plays a very specific role in the series, as you will see once the Panama episode is edited down. It's why I always knew that I was a messenger of the Universe, and as I have said to the stars above 'Use me'. I see myself as a vessle for change. Worldwide change.

this trip. these people. their heart. my vision. our travels. Nomad•ness Travel Tribe forever.

The Firsts:

thank you for trusting in the vision. trusting in me. love each and every one of you.

-Evie


 

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yesterday's sex talk...

I don't know what people woke up drinking and eating for breakfast yesterday but it was a sexual free for all... whew.

I woke up to being noted as one of Jayne Dirt's 'Girl Crushes' in her Clutch Magazine article. With my name standing beside the likes of Tracie Ellis Ross and Erykah Badu...that's a fantastic way to wake up in the morning. Let me tell you...

And then last night, the site I have deemed Nomad•ness' Sister, NomadikNation put me on their list of Top 10 Sexiest Travel Bloggers. 

I'll Ice Cube it out... yesterday was a good day! Owww!

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name a price. pick a subject. get a poem...

Meet Abigail Mott.

I met Abigail tonight while walking to the 4 train, at the Union Square Street Station in NYC. My favorite park and station in all of New York City, mainly due to the performances both outside and inside, and the cesspool of types of people that journey through it's underbelly. I've seen quite a few performances here, from dancers, to beatboxing, to folk singing, but tonight it was something rather silent that yelled so loud.

A young lady (Abigail) has a typewriter (love), a table and chair set up, and a sign. "Name a price. Pick a Subject. Get a poem." It doesn't matter the price. Follow directions and you are blessed with a unique piece of art based around whatever you ask her to create. Before long, a line forms and you're mesmorized by her typing keys, anxious to see what it is she has created for you.

"Can you create something about traveling the world," I asked.

"Ok."

(Abigail creating my poem)

About five minutes later, I was handed a piece of paper. I would have asked her to read it to me (a la 'Before Sunrise') but her line was already long enough. I left so fulfilled and I hadn't even read the poem yet.

I wanted something that could be dedicated to the Tribe. It reads:

'Murmuring through ancient hallways,

Cobble steps that echo

memorous feelings of THIS ManMade

CREATION

is IT

New Centuries Eclipse--

Fields, stones, nature in lushness

It sweeps by

in ceaseless wind

Fluttering new worlds in."

Abigail Mott

Jan 10, 2012

NYC

I love it. It immediately, upon reading, transported me back to Cambodia. Of all the places I've traveled, it took me right back to Ta Prohm, in the Angkor Wat Ruins, to this very photo.

The image I recollected was so vivid I couldn't shake it.

On the train a gentleman was sitting next to me. In oblivion, I was woken up by his words, "Sorry to be reading over your shoulder, but that poem is very beautiful."

I said thank you, and that slight introduction led to an indepth conversation about Abigail, my travels, and the purpose I intend to fulfill through Nomad•ness. Great guy. Greater conversation. I hope he checks out the website, and I hope you all check out Abigail.

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The Weeknd + Auditions for Guitar and Bass Player + Toronto

 

= why the hell do I not play a guitar????

Well what I can't do I pass along to you all. The Weeknd is looking for a professional guitarist and bas player in or around the Toronto area. You have until JANUARY 8th 2012 to email theweekndband@gmail.com with your goods. Name, age, photo, credentials, YouTube Links, instrument....all that.  If anyone gets it from reading this, please just remember where you heard it first.

Also, somehow get my man to lay a track down for the Nomad•ness Travel Series. It's kind of a big dream of mine! Thanks!

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2 awesome ways to wake up... VIBE Vixen of the Day and Piaf Cover

I wake up and by habit I always check my phone before I leave the bed. I want to see what I can sort out via phone before my feet even touch the ground. It's more comfortable that way. For some reason, I check Twitter first, and see this Tweet connected to me by @VIBEVixen...ok. Further reading and it becomes clear, that even with my sweats on, crusty eyes, and bedhead that VIBE Vixen were cool enough to grant me the title of Vixen of the Day.

I can't front..it's pretty fly! Pretty cool! And I'm filled with gratitude. 3rd day of the year, and 2nd write-up. I am NOT mad at all! 2012 is starting off just as intended! Keep it moving!

 

Shouts out to Tribe member and HEAVY world traveler (we're talking 40+ countries) Oneika for bringing this amazing video, Edith Piaf cover, in my life. Check out more of their music at madmoizelle.com

Great morning...

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reality check....

Not to turn my blog into a momentary Lifetime Special...but...

I was in Poughkeepsie for Christmas (rare occurrence) and happened to be looking for checks to take back to the Bronx. Going through old packed up boxes and bags, when a blank check from Rudi falls out. When times were extremely rough, he handed me this check, told me to make it out for however much I needed, and to just call him before I cashed it. I never used it.

I have been blessed in the past to have some amazingly supportive men in my life. Rudi, is one of those men that I have to reflect on in my life, and the unique love that we shared as best friends, lovers, and even this existential relationhip we share now.

I pray to him. I ask him to watch over me, my travels, my business. I know my guardian angel is looking down on me for real. He's always on my mind, but I see he had to really make his presence known on Christmas... I got you Rudi. Can't stop. Won't stop.

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Black Girls Rock 2011

 

Watching Black Girls Rock....again inspiried. Again, further convinced that my name will be amoungst that of these powerful women who are movements in their own right. Continuing to reach and achieve. Taking a piece of this movement with me along the way.

Would like to give a personal and group shout out to one of our many Black Girls Who Rock, Nomad•ness Travel Tribe member Tomika Anderson who was this year's Head Writer for Black Girls Rock 2011! Amazing job, on behalf of me and the group, phenomenal job! Thank you for your work!

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reflection of a relationship's demise...

Those readers who have been here for awhile know that through the years, particularly while traveling, that I have been in long distance relationships. One, in particular, that spanned half of my time in Japan and the duration of my time in Thailand.

Single now, since March, I find myself in a seesaw during this rejuvenation period. Up: I flirt with the intensity of a million warriors. I understand, respect, and appreciate the freedom of being able to do what I want, when I want, how I want, and with who I want (if I choose to) without the say so from someone else. I also am able to delegate my energy how I see fit. Down: I miss the comfort, support, love, and feeling (yes, that feeling) of one man in my life. I too respect, understand, and appreciate, the comfort of a love, or lover.

Where's the balance?

I'm at a scary point in my life right now. Scary in that, within the next few months my dreams will be coming true on some massive scales. And although I do believe that the women are definitely the natural born multi-taskers of the sexes, I feel as though I'm turning into the issue I had with my ex: not wanting to give over my energy, love, and time. I told him, during the days approaching our demise.

"As an entrepreneur I respect your hustle. As your girlfriend, I hate its guts."

He was a machine. For the woman who juggles a million things at once, including a travel movement, that's a lot to say.

Yet, and still, with the irony of life, I (now) understand more and more where he was in his life because I feel as though I may be there right now. There are guys, two in particular, who have caught my attention. And as much as I'd love to go there with either, there is an apprehension I feel.

I know how deep I fall in love. I know how powerful it is. I know how all consuming it can be and it's becoming daily now that I ask myself if I'm willing to give that type if energy over to a relationship, in any kind of near future.

With that, one would require the long distance component again. I'm used to that set up, but not in the context of having to start off that way. Our foundation would have to be built from two different countries.

A glimpse into my life.

reflection of a previous relationship's demise...

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my best friend's wedding...

It's officially midnight. The day of one of my best friend's weddings. Though friends, and Iona graduates, with both bride and groom, Josh holds a special bond that few friends of mine have, none actually. It still baffles me that it was this season, Fall 2002 when he and I first met. Iona freshmen trying to find our way in the world and our way around campus. He and Rudi were living in the Marriott acquiring the lowest GPA of their college careers, and I was busy in Loftus 9th floor, navigating a basketball player.

Some way, some how our paths crossed. Actually three paths intersected, Josh's, Rudi's, and mine. As much as I can try to, I can't write about knowing Josh, and not write about knowing Rudi. College was us, 'The Triad'. The tripod. We were inseparable. In many ways, even with Rudi's death last year, we still are.  Somewhere in the center was an energy between the three of us that kept us balanced when we were together.

If I had to peg me as the creative one, and Rudi as the business one, Josh was the political one. It was these three assets, bridged with his soon to be wife's no non-sense attitude that formed the Executive Board of Iona's Council of Multi-Cultural Leaders (CML). We ran shit, to put it lightly. And what was so ironic about that senior year was that love was floating the air. Josh and Chanel booed up. And Rudi and I gave it our own try. 

Seasons changed, loves fused and parted, years went by, and I moved to Japan. One morning I woke up to an email from Rudi: 'Yo V, call me as soon as you get this. Josh is going to ask Chanel to marry him." Before going to work, I was on the phone with Rudi and getting the low down. We were concerned, not knowing if she'd say yes or no. So we devised our own secret plan of 'save Josh' in case she said no and prayed for the best. Rudi was able to make it to the engagement and I was not.

Ironic, as now I am able to make it to the wedding, and Rudi is not. (that sentence opened the flood gates. f@%k.)

Fast forward to today, and later this afternoon I'll be on a train to Long Island to watch love conquer all, after 7, neary 8 years of dating. Traveling has made it hard to be in town for friend's weddings. I had to be here for this one. No question.

Josh, you are one of the most endearing, loving, sensitive, and forgiving men I have ever met in my life. Your energy is so nurturing and fun. Your laugh is priceless, and your heart is golden. You show me, in being a good man and friend, that it is pure fallacy that there are 'no good men out there.' You embody a sense of values and tradition that I revere at times. And most of all, you have been a support system for me during all that life has brought during and after college, including the death of our friend. I love you and support you and Chanel with every ounce of my being. You have chosen a gorgeous bride. And she has chosen a no more deserving man. I promise, when the time comes, I'll be on the speed dial for babysitting.

Love you both.

-Verbal

 

 

 

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if I have a son...

One day, years from now...if I have a son...best believe he will own this outfit... and we will rule the world together...no words for how dope this photo truly is.

 

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MADE SPACE for me...obsessed.

 

As you all know from previous posts, not only do I live for Berlin, but I also am a huge advocate on keeping their artist colony TACHELES Open. You can check the little snippet I put together on TACHELES below.

During this past week, while on my Facebook Berlin nostalgia ish...

I came across MADE SPACE in Berlin, in the video above. Needless to say, I'm kinda sorta obsessed with the idea of doing something there. Be it a screening or whateva, I need this place in my life, just like I need TACHELES to stay open for all of our lives...Peep the video!

 

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