seven years...youth and wisdom

Jason and I were at Iona filming updates for the Nomadness RV Takeover...needing food, before I turn into my bitchy version of the Hulk, we popped into Avenue Deli, on North Ave. The way these guys throw down my favorite eggplant roll, hasn't changed in a decade. 

Eating, Jason and I were going over all the amazing news that's hitting with Nomadness, when I had this orated revelation... "I graduated from Iona seven years ago."

I remember being a senior and seeing those who had graduated just three years prior come back for basketball games, and how awe stricken they were with new students. Well I can officially say, I don't know anyone on that campus anymore, outside of faculty. Even my residents have since graduated, gotten jobs, had babies, and been married. 

These two ladies were eating next to us, and one interrupted the conversation between Jason and I.

"I'm graduating in like 83 days and I'm freaking out.'

Honest and candid, the rest of the conversation followed suit. In the midst of all the stress that  is building Nomadness and this RV/College Tour specifically, she played the part of my reminder. As she stated that she saw herself, in seven years, as me...I indeed saw myself, seven years ago, in her.

And if I could write a letter to my past self, giving any advice, it'd be: "Don't worry. It will all work out as it should. Find what you love, and do that sh!t."

She was also my reminder as to why the College Tour was started in the first place, and why it's such an integral part of the nation wide RV Tour.  It's students like her that fuel people like me. If I had someone come to Iona, years ago, and approach me with an initiative like Nomadness, it would have been OVER!!! So for that, I thank her. In the middle of all the craziness, as this thing approaches, I'm reminded...I'm on the right path...Don't stop, keep going....... 

Waking Life + Lost In Translation + Isolation = Mental Rejuvenation

... I've kept my phone off today. A conscious decision after sorting through the cerebellum last night. Instead of the usual -- wake up, eat, check Facebook, start working on Nomadness-- I pulled myself away from my patterns, in an essence to (ironically) explore them in a different way. I wrote in my journal for nearly an hour, flushing thoughts and decided to do one of the only things that actively keeps me away from work...indulge in films.

Last night's dream completely f*cked my head up and totally has me one track minded to get back to Japan at some point in 2013. I have to. It's no longer an option. No longer an oasis. To continue feeding the Japanese frenzy, I popped in 'Lost In Translation'. A film that the first time I watched, I didn't get. The silence made me uncomfortable, and at that point in life I wasn't a traveler. 

Then I moved to Japan. Within the first few months of living there 'Lost In Translation' became less a film, and more a mantra of my life for the year.  It's so on point with its depictions of being foreigners in Tokyo. Today, while in bed viewing the film, I related on another level. The level of allowing people into your life, for however short the time period, and knowing that at some point, you also have to let them go. In my memoir, there is a chapter I wrote called 'Attachment, Detachment'. It's a theory in Buddhism, as well as a recurring theme in the life of this nomad.

...and now. Waking Life. My three favorite films are Dead Poet's Society, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind..... and Waking Life. Garner from that whatever you will. In a simple sentence the film is based on the exploration of the line in the opening scene 'Dreams are destiny.' Waking Life, is how I live my life, and sometimes I need the reminder...an adamant, aggressive, all encompassing reminder.  Peep the clips below from one of the most genius films on the face of the Earth.

For the traveler in me...the curious child inside that will never die... I stick onto the quote that bridges both films for me today.

Waking Life
Boat Car Guy: I feel like my transport should be an extension
 of my personality. And this is like my little window to the 
world... and every minutes a different show. I may not 
understand it. I may not even necessarily agree with it. 
But Ill tell you what Ive accepted: just sort of glide along. 
You want to keep things on an even key, this is what Im saying.
You want to go with the flow. The sea refuses no river. 
The idea is to remain in a state of constant departure while 
always arriving. It saves on introductions and goodbyes. 
The ride does not require explanation - just
occupance. Thats where you guys come in. Its like you
come onto this planet with a crayon box. Now you may get 
the 8 pack, you may get the 16 pack but its all in what you do
with the crayons - the colors - that youre given. Dont worry
about coloring within the lines or coloring outside the lines 
- I say color outside the lines, you know what I mean? 
Color all over the page; dont box me in! Were in motion to 
the ocean. We are not land locked, Ill tell you that.

http://youtu.be/s0TvZRcwz4I - Embedding not allowed, follow clip link to view

 

my romantic is back...she's lovely

"Romanticism has very little to do with things popularly thought of as "romantic," although love may occasionally be the subject of Romantic art. Rather, it is an international artistic and philosophical movement that redefined the fundamental ways in which people in Western cultures thought about themselves and about their world."

Rather unexpectedly, and abruptly, the romantic in me has resurfaced. She's laid dormant for quite some time, even through a relationship. It saddens me to reveal that I haven't felt the touch of romanticism in about 15 months. Inspiration, yes of course. But romanticsm, like that of a lover, no. In being completely honest, her absence has been the number one culprit of why I haven't been able to reopen my travel memoir, for a second edit. With so much business in the forefront, and life moving at the speed of light, it's a welcome shift that I, honestly, feel as though has made the other parts  well oiled for the entire machine. The machine of me.

Some feelings that surface when I'm in my romantic periods are sensitivity, creativity, and a need for expression. I haven't entered the world of Nomadnesstv.com for the purpose of writing creatively, or personally, in a long time. Longer than I like to admit, as this was my first place of mental refuge, outside of my journals. It's been a bit of an anomally, since the Tribe has taken over so much of my life. Battling between 'is it a business site, or still a place for my self-expression, as it was intended'.

How about it's whatever the f&*k I want it to be, like the rest of my life.

And in that breath, tonight, it's about my romantic side. To be clear, we aren't talking romantic as in sex, but romantic as in romanticism. Seducing the people through the effortless duty of being exactly who the hell you are, and being ok with that. Letting a guard down enough for the spectators to peek inside and sit there for a second, before the curtain closes again. Only a taste.

For someone, my fragility has recently been shown, and I'm thankful it's been met with an understanding heart and relating spirit. I cherish the moments I have with people who I feel comfortable being this shade of Evita, amongst. To be able to have someone cultivate who you are, for what you are, and have you leave everything else behind, even if for a short time, is something I truly (over years) forgot that I not only missed but ultimately need in my life. It's the ultimate balance. I remember its purpose. Thank you.

This romantic period has softened a certain side, and so much has come into my life, even just over the last two days. It feels freeing...really embracing the fact that both in my dreams, and in my reality...I can fly.

legacy...

The Pastor said that my Aunt EB was the last to speak during the 'Reflections' part of my counsin Shalanda's funeral, this past Tuesday. A week ago today. At this point, I'd attempted to get up twice, to speak on behalf of the cousins, and really let out what had been on my heart. My Great-Aunt EB finished her story on how she was the designated person to break the news to my grandmother. EB finished, the Pastor went to take the podium... but Grandma (a woman I get much of my personality from) took the floor.

"I know the Pastor said EB was the last one to speak, but Grandma is here. I am in control," she said.

A collective 'Ok, here we go...' uttered from the lips, along with laughs in the family section. My Uncle Stevie and his 'Ok Ruth, I'm scared of you,' towards his mother is truly the hysterical subcontext that the Robinson/Brevard family is made of. My cousin Jewel, sitting side by side to me, saying that we were going to confuse people with how seamlessly the family section will go from crying hysterics to sheer laughter at our inside jokes.

Grandma finished, and I never did get the 3 minutes allocated to say what I'd intended...at least not during the services.

Two limos filled with family, leading from Collins Funeral Home, to the cemetary. The grandchildren packed into the second limo, myself included. The message I had was really intended for my younger cousins, as I'm the oldest.

"Well now that we're all in here, I want to tell you all what I wanted to say inside. Take the time to have an honest discourse with yourself, and figure out, what is your legacy? This is a one way ticket. What do you want to represent and leave behind for people to remember you by? You must take the time to do this, especially while you are young. It's so serious."

I think they heard me. I hope they heard me. Sister, and little cousins, all emotionally raw and all in the tightest bond we possible have ever had.

legacy...

Fast forward to this past Sunday. It was the Tribe's 1st ever NYC BBQ at Riis Beach. Stunning day and amazing company. Yet, there was one conversation that brought me back to the conversation I had in the limo. High Council member, Macario and I found ourselves talking about the growth of the group, and our plans going into the end of 2012. Macario touched right on it.

"You know you've created something that is never going to stop. Ever! Ever. It will just keep growing."

Honestly, I try to keep moving, and rarely take moments to 'stop and think' about what's been created from a mere thought...the most important things we have are ideas. Coming off the previous week, I knew that I needed to listen, breathe in the beach and the sentiment. I reached the point of no return with Nomad.ness over six months ago. Approaching the Panama trip, I'd say is when if things were going to fall apart, they would have. But they didn't. And they won't. There will be adjustments, massive growth, and a ton of additions to what really makes up Nomad.ness, but it is my public legacy and I approach it as such. All the more poignant after witnessing my 24 year old cousin transition to the ther side. 

Your giggle and smile (that made you look Chinese) Shalanda, will be missed. I love you sweetie. Please send all your strength to the family, but in particular your mother and Grandma. Watch over us all, and tell Rudi I said hello.

RIP Shalanda...love you

Nomad•ness TV: Mental Pieces of Paris...

Mental snippets of Evie as she ventures around Paris, for the first time in six years...


honorary degree in Psychology...

I am inundated with photos, recollections, and anecdotes. Enough for consecutive posts for probably the next two weeks on the site. Many will be flushed and posted, others may fall by the waistside. Battling in a haze between jetlag and business. The creative in me, sadly, has taken a back seat on my return. The business minded, more laser focused side of my personality has come forth. As much as running with the bulls (which will be recollected) and splash! are all cued in the blog line up, I can't get my mind from being wrapped around people. People and their personalities.

Part of my job, as the creator of the Tribe, is to make this look easy. It isn't. At all. When issues occur, egos augment before your eyes, and as they say opinions become as plentiful as a$$holes, my position gets very difficult. I'd also say, that certain High Council members feel/have felt it too.

I half joke, pretty often, about how starting the Tribe qualifies me for an honorary degree in Psychology, merely dealing with the personality navigation. The hard part is not keeping the physical group functioning online. Planning trips can get tricky, but even that is minute compared to what happens when personalities come together on those actual trips, and you now have 20 people, many of which who have never met before, in the same house. 'The Real World' model is some real sh!t. You can't predict nor write some of the stuff that goes down on these trips, for better or worse. It's also the thrill of it all. The thrill of the chase to get on the trips, and then to allow yourself to be open to the elements.

The openess is key. As I approach announcing the next trip to the group, I just pray for openess in the minds and hearts of those who go. Through observations, I'm realizing more than anything, that character trait is the tie that binds, effortlessly. Funny a few members and I touched on this a bit over the last week.... this video is reallllll talk on behind the scenes. Love these guys!

a Paris morning...

Up at 8am, as if I hadn't flown out of the country yesterday. It almost feels normal. Almost feels like another day. Except instead of waking up, and nearly kicking Zorro in the face, or awaking abruptly to his cat cries for food, it's silent. It was the quiet shuffling, and remnants of cigarette smoke from Emilie's daily routine that lingered in the air.

Apple sauce, bread with butter, and these small linear raisin muffin type treats are what's for breakfast. Light, good, Parisian for sure. Reminded of what it was like living here 6 years ago. Small refrigerator to house small portions.

Today will be my first official full day in the city and I intend for it to be a stroll down memory lane. Old flat, old school, old Parisian stomping grounds. This part of the three weeks is entirely more personal for me than I think people realize. It's a time for solitude, reflection, and seeking answers to questions that could only be posed here.

Looking forward to the day... 

a dream being realized in 2 photos...

These two photos did me in this week...

Tribe Member Karen, in Kenya this week.

14 Tribe Members in Paris, France for the weekend to attend the 'Watch The Throne' concert

I can't begin to explain how these photos, so vastly different, made me feel this week as they were posted in the group. The first, of Karen, among the real deal Kenyans, in Africa, and them holding up OUR Tribe card.... the power takes my breath away. To see something I created, being represented in Africa is just beyond my comprehension right now. I am so grateful that she took this trip, for her, and appreciated the Tribe enough to (in a certain capacity) take us with her. This image is just emblazoned in me right now! It's the real message behind what I do. The true exploration, of each other.

Then...the Watch The Throne crew. I have to smile hard every time I even think about how his Meet Up came about. Two months ago, not even, member Rasheed (all the way to the right) threw up that he wanted to peep the concert in Paris, for obvious song oriented reasons. Within an hour, the thread was almost 100 comments long and what you see above is the product of that. 14 members, from Michigan, to Jersey, to Houston, to ATL, to members who are Paris residents, all had their first Meet Up and went to the concert tonight......like, I can't!!

My favorite part about the two photos: I'm not in either one of them. There is an authenticity to the fact that each of these memories happened on their own, in the vein of the Tribe, but I appreciate being the spectator, having the front row seat. It's like being the first one to start the wave, and then seeing it travel around an entire stadium. My stadium is the world.

You guys just don't know what it means, or fully how it feels to see this come to fruition. I'm so emotional this week behind it all. The Tribe's first Trunk show is tomorrow in NYC, and I'm all types of IN IT.

Gratitude isn't even the word.

Thank. You.

5 Reasons why the RHOA South Africa episode didn't phase me...

 

I have guilty pleasures just like the rest of you. One of mine happens to be reality TV. When I feel like dumbing down from all that it is I do daily, I specifically like to sit down, turn off, and watch the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Guilty as charged.

Many people are up in arms about the most recent episodes in which the ladies travel to South Africa. People are offended, find it as a beckoning call for them to singlehandedly change the way Black women who travel are viewed on tv. I get it, believe me I do. But:

1. What do you expect from the Real Housewives? Seriously. If you've ever watched any of their franchises or any femlae fueled shows on reality TV, it's quite ignorantly entertaining at times. You have to take it for what it is truly worth.

2. The Real Housewives of New York episode in which they took a trip to Morocco pissed me off more! That episode I literally changed the channel on, and discontinued watching the rest of the season because of it. Luanne set up a tent the size of a house, in the middle of the desert, and these chicks were still complaining. Their reaction to the poverty there was startling. Where the Atlanta cast were ignorant within their core group on personal drama, I felt the New York crew had a sense of ignorance towards the view of the world around them. That I couldn't rock with.

3. They gave back. I know this whole idea of 'poverty pimping' has come up in a slew of conversations. People speculate that celebrities have been traveling to different poverty stricken parts of the world for their own recognition and praise moreso than the sake of doing good. Personally, the jury's out on this one for me, and I can dive into that on another entry. But for the sake of this here blog, I'm going to give props to these women for putting their personal bullshit to the side for a second and spending time with the children of the Charity Trust Orphanage. They went to a neighboring supermarket and spent hundreds of dollars each on usefull things that this place needed. It wasn't about amenities. It was about maxi pads, tampons, Band-Aids, toilet paper, food, deoderants. How could I allow personal fueds overshadow that fact that these women filled up a van worth of goods for these children? I'm not so enthralled in their drama, as a viewer, to not recognize and commend the good in that. Period.

4. Phaedra. She went from my least favorite cast member in her first season, to my go to girl for the type of sound bytes that reality TV is made of, in her following season. I love some Phaedra. 

5. A change is gonna come. How do I know? I'm the face of it. I firmly believe that if you aren't a part of the solution, you may very well be part of the problem. Maybe part of why I can disassociate so freely from this is two fold. One, I have worked in TV for years, so I know the set-up. Two, I have created the force of my own movement that can work as a balancing beam to the bullshit. Nomad•ness TV and the Nomad•ness Travel Tribe are a platform and community that tips the scale in a positive direction. If you know you are working on the progression forward, you don't have time to concern yourself with the non-sense of what came prior. The vision is too grand. The attention is too plentiful, and movement is too important.

With that said, I want to thank everyone who has already pledges to the Kickstarter for the Nomad•ness Travel Tribe. We have only 35 days left to reach our goal of $10,000. We are up to $3125 now after only 10 days of fundraising. Amazing progress! If you haven't please drop a donation. Every single dollar counts! Thank you! LINK: http://kck.st/zxbSbX

touched...Whitney's Home Going Service...

This is the honest truth...I wasn't attached to Whiteny's passing. I wasn't sure if it was the fact that I felt deep down that the drug abuse at some time mixed with an aging body was going to catch up to her, or what...but when news hit, I was in Atlanta. A text went to my phone, and it was verified for me through Twitter (the world we live in). Odd and unsettling, yes. Unfortunate, absolutely. My thoughts went directly to Bobbi Christina and Bobby Brown. Their whereabouts, and reactions. With the Grammy's, NAACP Awards, and now an impending funeral, I knew it was going to be a week of her, as it should be.

Now, it's here. Just across the water, in Newark, New Jersey. I'm watching the funeral on my TV screen, and I was unprepared for this. My reaction. I have cried through about 70% of the service so far. I didn't even cry like this watching Michael's funeral. It's not just her impact hitting, but that of the people chosen to speak and sing. As I watch Kevin Costner, BeBe and CeCe Winans, Tyler Perry, Clive Davis, Alicia Keys, Rev. Kim Burell, and Stevie Wonder....my lawd Stevie Wonder, I can't NOT be touched. It's real now for me.

It is not a media fest, it has been a genuine afternon of personal anecdotes, and a look into the life of Whitney Elizabeth Houston. We get a chance to peek into her life as a person, a human, a friend, a mother,  not just a performer. As it's been said, this family has given us the privledge of sharing her with the world. For that, I thank them. My condolences to the family. Her spirit and voice lives on forever.

take heed PopTarts...

This is one of the realest things I've read in awhile. With the turns and shapes that my life is taking, I have to say I take to these words more now than ever before.

I note the PopTarts.

 PopTarts: People that tend to Pop up in your life when they need you, or see you succeeding, yet weren't there when you had questions or needed help/support on the come up.

This is the message I lend to you.

Jet Set Zero Season 8: Thailand Episode 1...it begins...

Yea, yea I know, it's been a year and a half since I last posted and was a part of the Jet Set Zero camp. 1.5 years later they just dropped the first episode from the season I was on... I have to laugh at this. So much has changed. So much growth has occured. It's crazy even thinking about it all. When I found out it was coming out my heart started racing...namely because I'm o far beyond this point in my life.

1.5 years ago I was:

• Dealing with the death of oneof my best friend's, Rudi (2 months before being on Jet Set Zero)
• In love and in a relationship with Nel (we have been broken up for almost a year now)
• In a serious place of despise with Tyler (if I saw him now on the street, I'd actually say hello with a clear heart)
• Heavier in the heart, due to all I was going through
  

So what makes this weird, is not the seeing yourself in the 3rd person, but all the things that have changed since then.

I also find it quite ironic that they chose to launch this now..but as they say in Japanese (Shogonai).

about that...

not that there is anything wrong with that but yea....I dedicate this post to me Facebook Timeline for the last 5 years.

With this, I unite my travelers and artists into adulthood. We're not weird, we're just awesome. 

just respect my conglomerate....

"Since we are the best and you agree with me right?
No need to debate... the way we move sh*t
See we're kind of like the government, so just respect my conglomerate"

Last night was a huge night for Nomad•ness Travel Triibe. A huge thank you shout out goes out to our DC member, Julia who organized the DMV (DC, Virginia, Maryland) Meet Up last night. For about a month now, I knew I was going to be attending this Meet Up, as a surprise. This was huge for me as it was the first time that I was able to see with my own eyes, how these things go down in other cities outside of NYC. My goal is to be in a position where I can do these drop ins so effortlessly that even the event organizer doesn't know that I'm coming.

The Toast 'To The Tribe', the personal stories of everyone's backgrounds, and I as spectator, were all so emotionally overwhelming to me. Opening up to them all about my journey, the tears just came...finally. I know I'd been fighting them for awhile. Seeing the way it all came together, the slew of mental Polaroids that are emblazoned in my head, and the stories embedded in my heart. Damn, it's amazing to see this thing move in the flesh.

It IS a conglomerate.They are all pillars for the movement, and I love each and every one of them. Much respect and gratitude.

Panama prep...

So the Nomad•ness Travel Tribe is headed on it's 1st EVER NomadnessX Trip in a little over a week. 20 of us are headed to Panama for a week. I can't even explain how much I am 10000% looking forward to every aspect of this trip. Haven't been on a plane since Berlin and I'm beyond the itch phase. I need to get the hell out of NYC. All the better, I'm leaving this bitter, disrespectful cold, to get into a tropical climate. Not even to mention that I'll be shooting there and you all will be blessed with a new episode sometime in February, and this time I get to debut the Tribe. I can't wait. 

The preparations are showing themselves bit by bit and there's tons to do, including get some funds in my pocket. When it's the top of the month, and you're going on a trip, and you're released from a contract a bit earlier than expected from freelancing, your brain...well my brain, goes a little coo coo trying to find creative ways to build a buck. The standard photos, bags, etc but (don't judge me) I also came across a site that had my mind on a whole other plane. Has anyone ever gambled (legally of course) to raise funds for trips? Randomly came across Party Poker and I had to sit with myself for a second...Would I? Should I? Could I?

Spades is more my thing (blame my ethnicity) but I can tear down in some Texas Holdem. Y'all have no idea! So... egaming, Party Poker, new way to pay for travel? Thoughts? I'm just saying...

Kanye on Twitter... misunderstood (again) I DON'T GET IT

I'm a Kanye Fan...let's just throw that out and get over that first hump.

I'm not a blind fan though. Meaning, I'm not a fan that turns a blind eye to the wrong intentions, bad choices, and flaws in people, even icons in my eyes. Kanye has done some foolish things in his lifetime. Haven't we all? Just so happens his get magnified. 

'George Bush doesn't like Black People' rubbed some people the wrong way. I happen to not be one of them.

Ambushing Taylor Swift's acceptance speech on the VMA's definitely a low point, from my point of view, in his career. It was uncalled for, insensitive, and highly unprofessional. So, yes I get it.

The man is still a genius though. An icon. An entrepreneur who put it all on the line before it started reaping it's own benefits.

I DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT think last night's Twitter discussion coming from his page was one of those moments.

I was more surprised by everyone's negative comments towards his speaking on education reform, wanting to start a school program with Spike Jonze (fucking genius!), and even posting a gmail account where people could send in their own ideas. What artists do you know, and listen to that would even do something like that?

Kanye (and I) never claimed to have the answers to it all. As he stated, it's something in the system that needs to be changed, but why knock a celebrity for speaking on it to get the dialogue going? It was a complete disconnect to me.

Why make fun of those (including myself) who did email the address with business plans, ideas, resumes, etc....who cares?!! Why bring negative energy to something that may positively change someone's life, even if that life is Kanye's.

Live and let live.

Strive and let strive.

Succeed and let succeed.

Maybe I'm missing something.... I don't get it.

hi. my name is...

I've been dodging the journal this week. Anytime that happens, it's when I need to be writing in it most.

A lot going on...nothing new.

Except, I had a date last night. A really lovely date. Impromptu, I was wisked around NYC with no where to go fast. An amazing sushi spot, led to great conversation over a glass of wine, led to first impressions...

Many times, especially as everything I do gets more notariety, I wonder what people think of me when we first meet in person.

One of my favorite, and cleverly titled books is "What You Think Of Me Is None Of My Business". Though this is true when shit tends to hit the fan in life, and you need moments of self reflection without the 'noise' of others. I think the idea of these types of first personal impressions are different. I have had so many in such a condensed period of time, and it got the brain going.

Tribe Meet Ups in NYC. Date(s). Hosting events. And an on the spot pitch of Nomad•ness TV Series on the job, before my mid-morning cup of hot chocolate.

Tons of first impressions, in a short period of time... I cant help but wonder how it all comes across. The projects, and me.

what is your movement?

I can't begin to explain how proud I am of TIME Magazine this year.

This year (and others before), but THIS year they got it. What we saw domino effect all over the world, from Egypt, to Libya, to Greece, to New York City, and beyond was that this year people took a stand for what they believed in, and they took to the streets to make sure they were heard. Occupy Wall Street was where Americans saw it at home.Dictatorships were overthrown and in instances killed because the people spoke up and took action.

The Protester most definitely was the person of the year.

Protesting for the world, a country, or yourself....what is your movement?

I'm turning into my ex...

I've realized, specifically over the course of this insane last 7 days that I've had, that I'm turning into my ex boyfriend. I'm turning into the person he was when we broke up, to be exact....

Now, this isn't a bad thing but it's a hell of a realization to have, and it shows me that life is spinning in a climax of organized chaos at the moment.

I have tons of respect for my ex, and there is a part of me that will always appreciate what we shared together. He still has split parentship of my cat for goodness sake.....

Anyway....

When we decided to split, it was a point at which he (probably even moreso than I) was gunning for his dreams like a fu*king Mac truck down the Auto Bahn. There was no stopping him. Frankly, that was one of the things I found sexiest about him. He was working two jobs, going to auditions, booking auditions, hitting the gym daily, and taking acting classes.

He turned into a machine.

I have never, in my life, ever witnessed anyone lock in and load off the way this man could. It was inhumane at points in time. Then at the end of it all, he had me. An entrepreneur and dream driver myself (no doubt) but as a woman I was born with that multitasking gene where we can do everything effectively for the most part, while only throwing our emotional stability into jeopardy.

So that was me, and that was him. And that's where it had to end.

Now, some nine months after the split. I am in a point in my life of machinery. I have become that damn machine. I juggle between any three given jobs, depending on the week, the Tribe, the series, building the business, and trying to keep some type of workout regime myself.

I more clearly understand where he was at this time. It's a mix of juggling and balancing simultaneously.

In looking at where I am, I asked myself the other day: How was he ever in a relationship and still doing all this stuff?

Granted, I am extremely supportive of my man's pursuits, so there wasn't any bitching. I initiated the end before we got there.

But damn....still. I don't know how he did it for however long he did because I realized over the course of this last week: I have no time to be in a serious relationship.

Besides being terrified of anything that would take time, energy, and focus away from this here movement....I simply don't have any of those things to spare at the moment. nada.

So I guess, this blog is a, "Ahh, I get it now..." type of blog. But it also let's me know I'm locked in. I have the most going on than ever. And I'm the farthest along I've ever been. That's not a coincidence. 

I'm heading home knowing that I'm making the right decision...building is coming first right now, and being single (mingling is fine) is in my best interest at the moment.

to be continued....

20 envelopes with the power of $20,000...

These 20 envelopes have the power of $20,000 in them. And there will be many more where that came from...

I'm always up to something. Dreaming bigger, going farther, doing better. Always something.

So behind the scenes I've been developing a Diversity/Travel Workshop to conduct at colleges and universities around the country, and eventually around the world. Today, I sent out the first batch of 20 letters with a one sheet on the program, the Nomad•ness Series, and who I am. I can't wait until I can venture the movement out on a broader scale, and really get the message of traveling out to the youth, the students, the thinkers, the sponges that they are. I'm hella excited!

If any of you out there are interested in bringing me and the workshop to your college or university, please just use the 'contact.' tab in the top right corner and send me your info. I am surper excited to spread the vision.

Thanks!